In December 2006 WINE magazine held a competition to suggest a replacement for the term anorak used to describe wine obsessive-compulsive personalities. I suggested cagoule but with the rumour doing the rounds that golfer and national treasure Gary Player, recently in the news with his 18-hole Pride of Myanmar (favourite golf course of the Burmese military junta) is to launch his own wine, I thought a classic Baffy windbreaker, available for $75 from www.garyplayer.com, would be even better.

My original entry for a replacement for “anorak” was CAGOULE n. A lightweight waterproof hooded anorak, pulled on over the head and often reaching down to the knees.

My reasons:

a) It’s French and a French vocab is essential for true anorakdom (terroir, cepage, cuvee, cru, …)
b) It’s waterproof, which is appropriate when the spitoon is getting close to full
c) It’s genderless, (unlike “varigated bowtie” which would have been my second choice)
d) It’s hooded, saving time on klitsing the bollas worn by some anoraks

But with Gazza rumoured to be joining the ranks of David Frost and Ernie Els with the usual expensive consultants onboard, Baffy is clearly more appropriate and it works as an adjective too. With Player now in his seventies, concentrating on charitable works and designing courses in Myanmar, if his game goes to pot as soon as the wine is launched, it won’t affect the bottom line.