A weekend of Bacchanalian celebrations kicked off at Allesverloren in the Swartland on Saturday night where CEO of sponsor Santam Agriculture Dr. Tobias Doyer brought down the house with his toast to the man who made it all possible, Jan van Niekerk. His recovery was equally hilarious, quoting Aristoteles “Quickly, bring me a beaker of wine, so that I may wet my mind and say something clever” neatly inventing a Greek sage midway between Aristophanes and Aristotle (he who famously liked the bottle). The Org de Rac (which sounds like something Odysseus might have encountered on his travels) organic wines available for tasting were awesome.

On Sunday night festivities moved to the Vineyard Hotel in Newlands and a celebration of 100 vines recently replanted in Lady Anne Barnard’s backyard. 60 Sauvignon Blanc and 40 Sémillon, the brave new plants put the biomass back into the brand. And so off to Groot Constantia for the main event where informed rumour has it that WOSA, Wines of SA, the exporters’ mouthpiece, have been downgraded from VIP status among the chosen 35 red-robed bigwigs after their recent contretemps with the DTI.

Missing from the guests will also be some of those navel-gazing narcissists who are either boycotting the event, sulking because no one stumped up a ticket or pointedly not invited. Did Morrissey have them in mind when he penned Unhappy Birthday?

I’ve come to wish you an unhappy birthday
because you’re evil
and you lie
and if you should die
I may feel slightly sad
(but I won’t cry)
Loved and lost
and some may say
when usually its Nothing
surely you’re happy
it should be this way?
I said “No”
and then I shot myself
so, drink, drink, drink
and be ill tonight
from the one you left behind