With WOSA, the exporters’ quango, planning to bring plane loads of luvvies to Cape Town for Cape Wine 2012 in September in green jets running on banana leaves and rooibos tea, it behoves Uncorked to pass on this tip to any unfortunates flying SAA: don’t read on the descent while seated in an emergency exit seat.

Sir David Tang gives helpful advice

This from Sir David Tang’s Agony Uncle column in the Weekend Financial Times yesterday:

Q: “I was flying to Cape Town on South African Airways yesterday, reading the Weekend FT. At the start of the descent, as the seat belt sign was lit, a stewardess brusquely told me to place my reading material in the seat pocket beside me as I was seated at an emergency exit. I was not allowed to finish reading your entertaining column, even though touchdown was 30,000ft and many minutes away. How would you, a seasoned traveller, have responded?”

A: “I will definitely have a word with South African Airways and tell them that as my column aims to make my readers amused, and therefore relaxed, it would induce the best and calmest conditions for their passengers coming to land. Therefore, especially at weekends, the reading of that distinct salmon-pink copy of the Financial Times should be made compulsory, just like the wearing of seat belts, for each and every passenger in the last 20 minutes of their descent.”

Sir David acts as a sort of unofficial adviser to WOSA, having stepped in twice before in the Su Birch China Crisis. With the Nederburg Auction pencilled in for the weekend after Cape Wine 2012, host Distell needs look no further than Sir David for a witty and insightful speaker to open the event.