Last weekend’s Checkers Battle of die Berge was not part of the global war on sugar as all 70 wines entered into the blind tasting were dry. But up here on the Groot Gariep, sugar is as seductive as ever. Eight red Muscadels (below) make the point most eloquently.

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At between 200 and 300g of sugar per litre, these babies will make you fat and give you cancer and heart disease, according to The Observer. With the war on hard drugs lost, how long before US drones start circling the vineyards of the Orange River, spraying napalm on the plants below?