Do Banksters have bigger Balls than Bacchus?

“Why do you rob banks?” they asked Jesse James. “’Cos that’s where the money is” was his reply. These days, Jesse would have been a wine impresario as you can’t move for tripping over a bank-sponsored piss up.

WineX (RMB), Top Ten Sauvignon Blancs (FNB for the Sauvignon Blanc Interest Group although when a case of Sauvies was shown to a case of International Sommeliers earlier this week by SBIG, only 25% of the wines poured made the list, hardly a vote of confidence in the selection), CWG Auction (Nedbank), Top Ten Pinotages (ABSA), aTrophy Wine Show (Old Mutual who have still to explain the TCA plague that ruined this year’s event) and now Standard Bank emerge as owners of a sighted wine guide and the eponymous restaurant guide of the restaurant reviewer at Business Day. Looks like Capitec are the only banksters to have yet opened an account for Bacchus. Even though it was started by some ex-Distell boys in Oak City.

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So is there anything wrong with banksters – like Piet Viljoen’s one by Conrad Botes (above) in the provocative Pop Goes the Revolution Show at his inestimable New Church Gallery in Tamboerskloof – recycling a small fraction of the outrageous bank charges they levy for running computer programs?

Kings of compound interest. Last year Standard moved their board meeting to Cape Town for a tasting at Boekenhoutskloof which was great for business class ticket sales at BA. Pity the Chinese directors didn’t pitch but in the Middle Kingdom the penalty for corruption is a bullet in the back of the head and the bill for the ammo sent to your grieving family. Pity the Chinese banksters missed out on Franschhoek as Australian producers expect to increase exports to China by 50% over the next three years.

Lessons from the Boot of my Car HR_0

As the puffery for the ebook (above) written by Diners Club director Reg Lascaris (who owns some of the toniest wine brands in SA and a major distributor) says he was “the first to inject human emotion into financial services for South Africa’s best loved bank, Standard Bank.” And now some wine and restaurant guides. It’s a one-stop shop for hedonism.

Which could explain the hefty R200 price tag for a few million electrons. The ebook is called Lessons from the Boot of a Car which is even more extraordinary when you see the size of the boot of a Ferrari. Not much space for stock at all.

So if not banksters, then who should bankroll these indulgences? The obvious players are retailers like Tops at Spar and Shoprite/Checkers. But then as Whitey Basson showed making R5.5 billion for shareholders last year, he’s no bankster.

But still I can’t but feel sad to see Bacchus overthrown by the grasping disciples of Mammon. For if banksters can bring the world economy to its knees with sub-prime shenanigans, SA wine will not prove too much of a challenge.

occie