Old Mutual on the Orange

Only one TCA-affected corkamorimcork Old Mutual on the Orange
by Amorim Cork
in the 30 wines at the final blind tasting of the Tops at Spar Orange River Winemaker of the Year Competition yesterday.  And that from a wine closed by a plastic cork!  How do they do it?  Which was a pleasant relief for Amorim SA CEO Joaquim Sa (below).

IMG 1277 615x345 Old Mutual on the Orange

One wag called it the Old Mutual entry after the fiasco earlier this year in the Toasty Wine Show competition where most wines were spoilt by cork taint.  If you believe Michael Fridjhon, owner of the show and a Wine Lizard (below).  Very few do.

wine lizard Old Mutual on the Orange

Like the curious article on problems with cork he supposedly wrote for Mavericks, a “gentlemen’s club” on Buitenkant Street in Cape Town.  Being too young for Russian pole dancers, I have to rely on gossip to hear I’m in line for a cork sponsored trip to Portugal.  Hopefully from a manufacturer of sex toys.  Pwooah!

The slippery lizard has a poor grasp of facts as it looks like he fired off an email to various FNB big-wigs (“Sandenbergh, Charl” <[email protected]>,“Loots, Lize” <[email protected]>,Stephan Claassen FNB <[email protected]>) earlier this week as his contribution to the defence of the sinking SBIG secretary Pieter Pippijoller de Waal.  In the email copied to me, he once again claims I was dumped by Platter, a lie I’ve had to correct him on so many times.

“It’s no secret that his being bumped off the Platter panel is what has fuelled his war against the Guide and his newly discovered faith in blind tastings only.”  Do lizards have particularly short memories?  Anyway, here is an email from Platanna editor Phil van Zyl setting out the true state of affairs.

From: Philip van Zyl <[email protected]>
Date: May 2, 2008 1:35 PM
Subject: The Window & Neil Pendock
To: Tim James <[email protected]>
Cc: Neil Pendock <[email protected]>, [email protected] 

Dear Tim

Readers of the May Day edition of The Window might infer that Neil Pendock (copied herewith) was fired from Platter’s Guide. This is incorrect, and I’d appreciate it if you would note this on the website.



Could this be the reason I was overlooked for the Platanna publisher’s La-Z-Boy recliner?  Urban legend insists that Biggie Smalls Lascaris, who seems to control the board of Platanna, wanted Xtian Eedes as publisher while the Platters preferred Cathy van Zyl MW.  A Mexican stand-off ensued.  The chair and a +R60K monthly salary package went to Arsène Lupin lookalike JP Rossouw. Which was a lucky break, as Old Mutual seems to have misplaced the sponsorship for his restaurant guide in their obsession with cork taint.

So Biggie gobbled him and his guide up, tout suite.  Another great deal for Standard Bank shareholders, not!  To save on PR costs, Diners Club relied on this blog to tell unsuccessful applicants the position had been filled.  Happy to be of assistance.

But someone really should tell Bidet that describing their restaurant reviewer as producing an independent restaurant guide is not in senso stricto true anymore.  If indeed it ever was.