So should SA wine producers worry that Mrs. Robinson chose no SA reds to stuff her Financial Times Christmas stocking this year? No! Not when real UK wine consumers who follow the Daily Mail are recommended two SA stunnas out of 10 selected for their festivities. A Kleine Zalze SMV (Shiraz/Mourvedred/Viognier) 2012 for £8 from Waitrose – confirming that there is life in the Stellenbosch marketing department of Kobus Basson after his long-time marketing mogul Ross Sleet jumped ship to Cape Legends – and Chocaholic Pinotage 2013 from Harvey Nicks for £11.

Chocaholic is made by Alastair Rimmer who not only shares the name of the hero of Red Dwarf (above) but also put Franschhoek on the map with Angel’s Tears a decade ago. It looks like he’ll be doing the same thing for Darling Cellars this decade. But hats off to Pick ‘n Pay for listing the wine on special for R38 as opposed to R186 in the UK. No wonder the Pick ‘n Pay share price is shooting out the lights on the JSE. With discounts like these, it’s almost worth flying to SA from Blighty for wine shopping, even if BA jumbos collide with buildings at OR Tambo.

Alastair’s achievement puts huge pressure on the Chocolate Block. Chocaholics should do a blind taste test and perhaps come to the Daily Mail conclusion that paying nearly R200 for your chocolate addiction at Woolies is better serviced for under R40 at Pick ‘n Pay.  The housewife’s friend gives you the cheapest of six bottles for free, so a case of Chocaholic at Pick ‘n Pay costs the same as a bottle of Chocolate Block at Woolies. A no brainer.