Western Cape liquor licensing is pure Charles Dickens

It is the day before Christmas and Constantia matrons are in a tizz. After finding parking for their outsize 4x4s at Cavendish Square they discover that the cupboard is bare of R299-a-bottle Moët & Chandon French fizz at the new Pick ‘n Pay. Not only is the cupboard bare but its been dismantled! All alcohol has been removed from the store as a liquor license has been misplaced. You can see that Raymond Ackerman, the housewife’s friend, is no longer on the bridge.

What kind of Christmas will matrons and mamas have without discount French fizz? Of course you can buy a brand from Bouzy no one has ever heard of for half that price (R150) from Mark Norrish at Ultraliquors. But really! How infradig! How will your guests guess how sophisticated/rich/ANC Youth League you are from that? Is Cape Town mayor Patricia de Lille family of Eberneezer Scrooge (below)? Is Western Cape premier Helen Zille related to Uriah Heep?

eb1 Western Cape liquor licensing is pure Charles Dickens


Moët is the favourite fizz of SA supermarket moguls: Checkers sell more of it in Lagos than they do in SA. How can one of the top ten tourist destinations in the world not discount Moët & Chandon in a suburban shopping centre?  Where is the public good in this? Are tourists expected to drink Constantia Uitsig fizz from the farm? Get a grip, Cape Town Tourism, or bloated bloggiste whale cottage will be on your case. He’s been unstoppable after his recent femilift.