A spectacular own goal. There I was thinking that Amy Fleming het die pot mis gesit (was at the wrong address) in the Guardian yesterday. In a feature entitled Eat Yourself Smart, she recommends bubbly made from “pinot noir and pinot meurier” for enhanced brain function. Pinot Mineure surely? But as with tomatoes, it seems she says meurier, I say meunier and we’re both right. It’s Chardonnay bubbles that won’t help your IQ. Bad news for Robertson and Blanc de Blanc addicts in general while Nederburg, whose fine fizz is made from Chenin Blanc, is also IQ challenged.  As Amy reports:

“Never has there been a more welcome research finding. Scientists at the University of Reading  found that champagne contains something called ‘phenolic compounds’, which stimulate signals in the parts of the brain used to control memory and learning, counteracting memory loss associated with ageing. In particular, it is helpful with spatial memory, which allows us to record information about our surroundings and navigate around it. The benefits are noticeable with one to two glasses a week, but it can’t be any old fizzy white wine, as the nutrients are only abundant in the two red grapes used to make champagne – pinot noir and pinot meurier (sic).” Huh?

Are there any SA methode cap classiques made from Pinot Mineure or even Pinot Meurier, I wonder? Is this the reason Mensa has no branch in Milnerton? We’ve been feeding our noggins the wrong stuff, all along. ABSA Capital hosts an annual Champagne Festival at Summer Place. Who do we speak to for a bursary to drink ourselves brighter?