Pubic Hair and Port


Dessert wines and Ports have been struggling valiantly against the world wide war on sugar. But is the tide about to turn in the same way that women are increasingly saying no to Brazilian waxes? As Hadley Freeman notes in the Guardian

“As you may have noticed, there has been a great deal in the press about the dangers of sugar and how we should all go on a “no-sugar diet” immediately or else wake up tomorrow the size of the Gruffalo. The media – and large swaths of the public – like absolutes such as this (No fat! No sugar! No gluten!) because they are more fun than boring truths such as, ‘Eat everything, but not too much’. The truth is, yes, most of us do eat too much sugar but we also have organs in our body with names such as ‘liver’ and ‘kidneys’ that deal with toxins for us, so unless you suffer from coeliac disease, you don’t need to cut out gluten and, unless you’re a diabetic, you don’t need to monitor every grain of sugar you eat.”

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“This (boring) attitude of moderation can be carried over to pubic hair. It strikes me that telling a woman exactly what she should do with her vaginal bush is about as contrary to the spirit of feminism as bidding for pictures of Lena Dunham’s (above) un-Photoshopped body (hello, feminist website Jezebel). If a woman wants to get waxed before going on a beach holiday, that hardly seems worth a war crimes trial, and ditto if she doesn’t. To say that the only way a mons pubis can be sexy is if it is hairless is both gross and untrue; to say that it must be fully haired up in order to be properly womanly is similarly unhelpfully absolutist. Feminism is about giving women choice, and surely there is no choice more central to the cause than what she does with her vagina. I hope bikini waxes are over in the fashion sense so that women no longer feel they have to get them to appear trendy, but it seems fair enough for them still to exist. So, yes, I declare them Over. But they will always be an option.”

I have long argued against peer pressure for pubic topiary, a campaign that has drawn the ire of pubiphobes like the Whale Cottage blogger whose own Palace of Pubes guest house in Camps Bay has become something of a tourist attraction for pubiphobes.

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As women increasingly embrace their bushes and drop their brushes (above), hopefully sales of the five best quality value Dessert Wines and Ports from last year’s Best Value Guide blind tasting will rocket.

Orange River Cellars Red Muscadel 2012 16.00 R38.70
Nuy White Muskadel 2012 16.40 R42.00
Brandvlei Kelder BC Wines Hanepoot Jerepigo 2012 15.30 R30.00
Distell Sedgwicks Old Brown NV 14.80 R24.50
Namaqua Wines Namaqua White Muscadel NV 15.60 R35.00

65 wines were submitted and they ranged in price from R23.50 to R70. Average scores ranged from 14.3 to 17.5 confirming the quality of the category.