A Belgian brewer offering a no-carbs lunch is surely the equivalent of a porn star lecturing on the virtues of virginity. Which is what went down at Den Anker yesterday when Liefmans, Duvel and their mates treated the low-fat cream of Cape Town hedonism to a no-carbs chow-down. The menu in full is reproduced below:

The food was great – how do the Belgians pack so much flavour into those tiny shrimps they serve with the seared sesame tuna? They don’t even feature on a the menu description but steal the show totally. M&G Belgian journo Brent Meersman reports they’re caught on horseback. This being the Chinese Year of the Horse, makes sense.

Brent seems to be the only M&G lifestyle luvvie left at his post, with insiders counting down the days until the publication stops killing trees and goes totally electronic. Which will be a blow to Zimbabwe where the weekly newspaper is a reality check in a dark place.

The problem with carbs is that they taste so good. After roast potatoes and aldente pasta, perhaps the most enjoyable way to get a carbo fix is the new Tripel Hop Duvel.

And with the Euro/Rand exchange rate breaking through 15 this week, it must be one of the best deals in town. I’m off to Bruxelles in May to judge the 20th Concours Mondial, one date in my tasting calender the ambitiously manipulative Hermit on the Pill did not manage to cuckoo me out of.

So it will be a case of many happy returns to Den Anker as I embark on a rigorous training regime involving all things Belgian: a Tin Tin quiff, Hercule Poirot moustache to ward off the pognophobic Whale Cottage last seen causing major mayhem at Just Pure the Bistro in Hermanus (glass houses and stones spring to mind) and tomate crevette all round. All carbo free and totally delicious.