Muscles in May

With over two months left to Mussels in May, our celebration of terroir aimed at convincing French aesthetes that

a) SA Sauvignon Blanc does indeed possess terroir by thetractor load;

b) West coast mussels are as good as anything from Arcachon or the lavishly punctuated  Île de Ré;

c) SA musclemen are as sexy as Serge Nubret (below).

serge Muscles in May

Already seven farms have signed up to participate and 10% of the tickets have already been sold on webtickets and there are only 200 to start with. Over half have been snapped up by Tulbagh. But then as the SA terroir demarcators know, Tulbagh is a coastal appellation or will be after the next earthquake. Or is this the Luke Krone fan club supporting their homey who is organizing the event. My press release:

Ultra Mussels in May

When the Pilgrim Fathers arrived in North America, local Indians warned them never to eat shellfish in a month with an “r” in the name. Which sounds a bit suspect as where did the Sioux get the Julian calendar from?

Still sticking with Sitting Bull and his braves, in the Southern Hemisphere where the seasons are reversed, Apache Rules would declare months without an “r” as the time to eat shellfish.

May is the first and just to be on the safe side, we’re waiting until the last day of the month for our Mussels in May festival at Den Anker on the Waterfront in Cape Town. We’re all cavemen now, eating fat and protein like mad and foreswearing carbohydrates in a lazy attempt to lose weight and mussels fit the bill.

It’s déjà vu and back to the future again. For as inhabitants of the Western Cape, we’re all spiritual descendants of the strandlopers who feasted on mussels and alikreukel as they skinny dipped at Sandy Bay and Clifton, inventing jewellery and face painting in their spare time.

The only thing they lacked was Sauvignon Blanc to drink at their shellfish feasts commemorated by middens of abandoned shells long before the Portuguese pitched up with their sardines, Nando’s chicken and padrãos. Ultra Liquors are solving the problem 80,000 years later with thanks to Jan van Riebeeck for importing the vine from Europe.

SA’s leading liquor retailer has made a match made in culinary heaven. They’ve embraced the best of Belgian cuisine in the shape of Doekle and Rejeanne Vlietman and persuaded them to cook 1Kg of mussels each for 200 guests at their iconic Den Anker restaurant at the Cape Town Waterfront. Vegetarian options available.

Washed down with icy green Sauvignon Blanc from the Cape’s premier maritime appellations of Darling and Durbanville. Red wine available. For this is to be a tournament of terroir. Can you taste the difference between the green peppers of Durbanville and the dusty capsicum flavours from Darling? Do you even care if they both work with Den Anker delights?

Whatever your motivation you’re advised to come down and drop anchor at Den Anker on Saturday 31 May from noon until 4pm for the Ultra Mussels in May contest of strength and daring.

Come and exercise your love mussel. Embrace your inner strandloper. Ultra Mussels in May. You know it makes sense. Tickets available from for R150.