Get Wine gets the message

Off to Salt River this afternoon for free pizza and great prices at the opening of the GetWine super store. From the queues waiting to pay (below), you’d swear Johan Wegner gives the stuff away. A nightmare for Caroline Rillema, Vaughan Johnson and ultimately supermarket wine buyers. It’s the Oscar Foulkes model perfected and transplanted from Woodstock to neighbouring Salt River plus twenty years.

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Pile ’em hi and sell ’em lo is Johan’s motto and at R20 a bottle (below), its hard to see how anyone makes a profit. Especially when Johan throws in free pizza. Loaded with carbs, this alone should keep anoraks away from the place making it an Anorak Free Zone or AFZ.

Anoraques are today otherwise engaged, arguing yet again about the merits of corks v. screw caps as closures as Amorim’s Portuguese freebee holidaymakers pay for their sardines via posts on the interwebs. Or were they perhaps looking for Madeleine Mccann with their snouts more sensitive than a lurcher?

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The cork debate is akin to two bald men arguing over a comb or two colour-blind fashionistas deciding which bowtie to wear to a Vinpro Information Day. Get over yourselves, nerds and get down to Salt River to GetWine for the Capaia One 2008 Bordeaux blend marked down from R223 an (imported) bottle to R95.

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Or a Platter five star stunna for under R100 in the shape of the Raka Biography Shiraz 2010. In the old days, Platter full houses would sell out faster than tickets to Ultra Mussels in May. Now they’re discounted like condos on the Costa Brava. O tempora, O mores, manne!