Too often, when we sit down for dinner at a great restaurant, the server hands the wine list to the man and expects him to make all the decisions about drinking. Fortunately, that’s changing—now, sommeliers are increasingly female, and it’s common practice to pour a taste of a bottle for both the man and woman. But a binder-size wine list can be overwhelming for anyone. There are a few basic points of knowledge that every woman should be equipped with so she feels confident in retail stores, hosting or attending dinner parties, and, of course, when dining out or hanging at a wine bar. It’s not necessary to have all the technical know-how that a professional has—but a few building blocks can go a long way.

1. What exactly are tannins?
Tannins come from grape skins, seeds, and stems, and they can leave a tobaccolike, dry substance in your mouth that can even feel a bit “chewy.” When tannins are well integrated, as with a wine that has been aged in oak for some time so as to provide structure to the tannin (such as many aged Barolos, from northern Italy), they can be excellent alongside heavy foods like steak. When tannins are immature, they will be abrasive. If you want tannins, ask for a tannic wine. If not, ask for a low-tannin wine or something that has no tannin at all.

2. There are better questions to ask at a wine shop than “Where’s your Malbec?”
There’s nothing wrong with requesting Malbec, per se. In fact, French Malbec (yes, Malbec is originally from France) is very rustic and earthy and worth trying. But when you go straight for the Malbec, you’re missing out on so many more interesting options. Take a moment to figure out how the shop is organized; it could be by region or grape type or any other device. Ask someone to show you an interesting bottle in your price range, and offer a few points about what you like and how you plan to drink it (Is it a special occasion? Netflix and chill? Having pizza?). Trust a good retailer and you’ll discover a lot of new wines that will enhance your palate over time.