How To Bake A Tequila Christmas Cake

Spice up your Christmas with this Tequila Christmas cake. Don’t forget to sample the quality of the tequila before, during and after baking!


  • 1 cup of water
  • 1 tsp baking soda
  • 1 cup of sugar
  • 1 tsp salt
  • 1 cup of brown sugar
  • lemon juice
  • 4 large eggs
  • nuts
  • 1 bottle tequila
  • 2 cups of dried fruit


  1. Sample the tequila in a large glass to check quality.
  2. Take a large bowl, and check the tequila again, to be sure it is of the highest quality. Pour one level cup and drink.
  3. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
  4. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.
  5. At this point, it’s best to make sure the tequila is still OK, so,
    try another cup.
  6. Turn off the mixerer thingy.
  7. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
  8. Pick the frigging fruit and the damn cup off the floor.
  9. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, just
    pry it loose with a drewscriver.
  10. Sample the tequila to check for tonsisticity.
  11. Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Check the tequila.
  12. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
  13. Add one table.
  14. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.
  15. Greash the oven.
  16. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
  17. Don’t forget to beat off the turner.
  18. Put the bowl through the window, finish off the booze and make sure to put the dirty stove in the dishwasher.