League of Boring

To anyone not knowing the South African winelands: please do not judge us on the pathetic television series League of Glory, currently being broadcast on M-Net. This piece of drivel is filmed in and around Stellenbosch, the capital of the local wine industry and only an outbreak of cholera, a bomb threat from a Moslem terrorist cell or a Kurt Darren concert can deter anyone from visiting Stellenbosch as much as a viewing of an episode of League of Glory is sure to do.

Firstly, the depiction of the local people sees us as a shallow, monosyllabic community which is totally without passion, a zest for life and a commitment to and knowledge of wine. The women, led by the actresses Susan Danford and Elsabé Daneel, are ugly, have thick calves, dress poorly and are about as full of life as a nun in Lent. The men smirk and sneer, don’t like washing their hair and pretend to know something about wine and soccer, which they don’t. This is a problem: League of Glory is about, well, soccer in a wineland community.

Dig the shoddy production: vineyard pruning is done in the middle of summer when the vines are thickly foliaged and green. Glasses are filled with dyed water instead of wine. Winemakers and workers stand around not knowing what to do.

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