Lies About Alcohol You Always Thought Were True

Alcohol is pretty awesome when consumed safely and in moderation, as no one likes an obnoxious drunk. Hell, some days the only reason we get out of bed is because “Happy Hour” exists, so there’s a lot we won’t judge. We will, however, judge you for repeating a bunch of boozy misconceptions and myths, so let’s clear the air so we can get on with the drinking.

Tequila comes with a worm in the bottle

To many, it’s not tequila until you stick a big ‘ol worm in the bottle. No one knows why, both because it makes no sense at all, and because, well, it doesn’t happen.

The worm can actually be found in mezcal, the upstart cousin of tequila — the only difference (apart from the worm) is how much Blue Agave is in the liquor. Tequila has to be at least 51 percent Blue Agave to be called tequila, but mezcal can be made of pretty much any old stuff.

They wanted some way to set mezcal apart from tequila, but the fact that you now think tequila is the one with the worm illustrates just how bad an idea this was. Apparently, people found that the most important thing to remember wasn’t the product, but how they were now drinking worm-flavored juice.

Mixing types of alcohol make everything so much worse

You know the rhyme: Liquor before beer, never fear, but beer before liquor, never sicker. Here’s another one: the rhyme is a lie, a stupid rule to go by.

That’s because science says there’s no combination of beer, liquor, and wine that’s going to make your hangover a million times worse than usual. When it comes to what order you consume your drinks in, it likely has something to do with how you drink instead of what you’re drinking, because there are two major components to causing a hangover: how much you drink and how fast you drink it.

Alcohol only impairs brain function

We’ve heard all the stories that started with a few drinks and ended in the hospital, but getting at least slightly tipsy might not be as brain-damaging as you think. (Before the good news, a disclaimer. All that stuff about alcohol slowing reaction time is completely proven. So, remember that bit of information, too.)

Now, onto the good news. In 2012, researchers took a look at whether or not there was anything to the stories about alcohol and the creative artist, and found that there totally is. When they gave subjects some alcohol and food, those subjects performed better when faced with a series of word problems designed to test a person’s creativity, than people who were just given the problems. We could have told you that, but scientific proof makes us happy … and less guilty about pouring ourselves a drink every time we sit down to write our Great Novel.