No, Gwyneth Paltrow’s Breakfast Smoothies Don’t Cost $200 Each

Goop’s healthy homemade morning drinks aren’t cheap, but they’re not $200 either.

We all know and love Goop, Gwyneth Paltrow’s physical/spiritual/material guide to living the best life we can. We love it because it helps us, teaching us that our backyard wood-burning pizza ovens aren’t quite up to snuff, or that we’re probably inhaling too much caloric air every time we take a bite of our garbage dinner. But we also like it because, yes, sometimes it can be a little amusing to make fun of.

Goop wants us to do some pretty wacky things with our one, precious life on this Earth, like only eat foods that grow on Tuesdays or whatever. The site’s design for living can be a little nutty (almond-y?), a little restricting. It gets a bit silly! Plus, Gwyneth Paltrow is a tall veela from some Other Place where monsters like us aren’t allowed to set foot, so it can be comforting to laugh at Goop in a sad, vain attempt to not feel inferior to its perfect creator.