When we travel somewhere I prefer to set out before sunrise. Best to hit the tar before trucks crawl out of hiding and snail along your intended route. My wife first concluded her exhausting packing regime, then it was my turn. I’m a plotter so most of the packing takes place in my mind. Ten minutes later my suitcase was added to the mountain of luggage by the door.

The following morning the car was loaded, dogs and bunnies fed, and cat shooed from underfoot. Before long we were on our way to face the Wacky Wine madness. As we climbed onto the main road the headlights happened to pass over the flattened corpse of a bird. Then I heard the sniffing. My wife was whimpering, cheeks glistening with fresh tear tracks.

“What about her babies?” she sobbed. “They are waiting in a nest for food. What’s gonna happen to them now?”

“I think that was a male bird. It had bright feathers,” I said, hoping it would diffuse the situation. It made it worse.

We held a number of eulogies along the way, for fauna across all species.

Late morning we arrived in Swellendam. We stayed at Impangele guest house, a pleasant and affordable stop-over for people travelling through. We were offered a hearty welcome by the hosts and were shown to a leopard-themed room. There we were able to read up on how Impangele came about, with pictures detailing the progress of their guest house.

With the launch of my latest novel, KING OF SORROW, finally around the corner, we both agreed we needed a bit of pampering at the Rain Forest Day Spa. I had the elephant walk massage. Now I know what you’re thinking: crime authors sound like a bunch of sissies. I don’t care if you judge me. It was an hour of absolute bliss, and affordable enough for anyone to enjoy. I left feeling refreshed and ready for the weekend and the coming book launch.

I was tempted to load pics of the massage room, but it included me in my undies. I’m afraid – and quietly hope that – most readers would find that distasteful. Once you see it, it can’t be unseen. Oh, remember to check out the Rain hamper competition at the end of this post.

The next morning we visited the Wildebraam Berry Estate (@WildebraamLiq) to do a liqueur tasting. It was a bit too early for alcohol but we did the full tasting anyway. Strange as it might sound, the guava liqueur was triumphant over all. So, half-drunk on berry nectar we made our way to Orange Grove Farm in Robertson, where we would stay for the next couple of days.

By far, this was the travelling highlight. We were met by our personal guide and taken to our cottage. The cottages are at an elevated level over-looking the vineyard, so the views were amazing. The accommodation itself was of the highest standard. As an author I’m quick to pick up silly things that others might consider inconsequential. I immediately noticed two small fire extinguishers, clear exit signs, a fire blanket in the kitchen, and a first-aid kit in the bathrooms. The conventional toiletries included the OGF1812 personal care shower gel and lotion, containing diamond dust and luxury coffee colouring. I had never experienced this attention to detail at a self-catering venue before.

Later I would discover that the owner, Carlos Araujo, has a mining background so he regarded the health-and-safety aspect as first priority. We briefly discussed his chequered past and his humble beginnings. He is a colourful character. The fact that he encourages staff to read a book a month, warmed this author’s heart.

The next morning I officially began the Wacky Wine Weekend. Every other concern faded away. I was there to celebrate the grape and to taste what the different wine makers were able to accomplish with it. My next post will detail the variance of wines, the tasting highlights and what happened at some of the estates.

Next week I will also be giving away a box of Arabella wines so follow the blog or check in to see how you can win.

That brings us to this week’s competition. Here is how you can win the Rain hamper. Answer the very difficult question below and send your answers to @james_fouche on twitter using this hash tag: #myrainmoment or e-mail answers to [email protected]

RAIN HAMPER QUESTION

My rain moment is:

1. Coffee with in-laws

2. A rain massage

3. A triple brandy & coke