Inspired by Hartenberg Estate`s, Hamburger Recipe Competition and the love for burgers, I took to the kitchen to eradicate my constant annoyance with the current hamburger sandwich abominations, that are the Cape Town gourmet burger scene.

Before I get into a meat spitting frenzy, lets take a quick look at the vague history of the burger. Many claimed it as their creation, from Hamburg to the USA, but the only denominator, and the thing that makes a burger a burger, is the mince patty. The patty is the heart of any burger and over the years it’s been accompanied by everything from two slices of bread to the more popular bun (with sesame seeds bitch). For one person to claim this creation as his or her own is as absurd as claiming the invention of the wheel.

I believe, and this is my unfounded theory fuelled by binge watching Comedy Central’s Drunk History, that the burger merely evolved from the simple meat/steak sandwich.  Way-back when you still had to take a knife to a throat to eat, left-over slices of cooked or grill meat regularly ended up on some baked sourdough.  Somewhere along the line someone decided to finely chopped-up these raw scraps of meat and voilà, mince meat was create. From there a medieval Russian dropped a egg and a few spices in the raw mixture to create tartar. And I’m sure not long after that another dude was fed-up with the raw meat vibe, slapped it flat with his first and threw it on the grill.

Fast-forward back to current Cape Town and we see ridiculous Gourmet (WTF) burgers made from everything from Kobe to foie gras and I wonder what’s next. Gourmet Pap en Wors? This is restaurants dirty little secret for years. Create a traditional inexpensive dish, slap Gourmet in front of the title and tap the fools dry.

I guess, to quote the Killers, “This is the world we live in”.

So I set out to create a traditional burger patty (old school meat scraps mince) and to keep to the current day ridiculousness, I tried to imagine  what it would look like if we remove its origin from Europe and America to Asia, more specifically Japan.

Lets start with the main act, the patty

Mince Patty Ingredients

• 500g beef mince made up of:
  20% Oxtail. This use to be an inexpensive cut, but due to it’s recent popularity, not so much any more. Scrape the meat and fat of the bone, and chop it up finely. If you have a friendly butcher ask him to mince it for you. Personally I prefer hand chopped mince. Much more juicy.
  20% Oxheart. Contrary to popular believe oxheart tastes pretty much like chewy steak and not too offally. Heart is extremely lean, so you will have to add some fat to the mix. Chop it up finely
  10% Fat. Chopped
  50% Ground Beef Mince. The cheapest you can find.

Now we have the basics for our old school mince mix. The challenge now is to make this into a delicious patty. If you do not care about burger patties, just buy prime cut mince from your butcher and be done with it.

• 1 Large Egg, Beaten.
• 4/3 Tablespoon Liquid Smoke. This is a cheat for city sleekers like me who do not have a wood fire or smoker in our apartments.

Mix all the mince together with the egg and liquid smoke.  Try not to handle the mince too much as this will change the texture of the meat into a sticky snot ball. Form your patties and put it in the fridge.

Patty Spice Ingredients

• 1 1/4 teaspoons salt
• 1 1/2 teaspoons ground black pepper
• 1/2 teaspoon dark brown sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1/4 teaspoon onion powder
• 2 teaspoons paprika
• 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper

Mix everything in a bowl and set aside. We will only season the patty just before grilling. If you season it too early the spices will de-hydrate the meat and your patty will become a bit too dense.

Now for the Teriyaki Sauce

• 1⁄4 cup Japanese shoyu (soy sauce)
• 1/2 cup Sake
• 1/2 cup Mirin
• 5 tablespoons dark brown sugar
• 1⁄4 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1⁄2 teaspoon ginger powder
• 2 tablespoons Honey

Mix everything together in a small saucepan. Bring mixture to a boil over medium-high heat, reduce to a simmer, and cook until thickened enough to coat a spoon, about 20 minutes. Set aside and sort in an air-tight container. You can always use the sauce again for your next braai. The flavour we’re aiming for here is sweet and salty.

The 2 minute Raman noodles Bun

Fist made famous by chef Keizo Shimamoto, the ramen king!

• 1 packages instant ramen noodles.
• 1 large eggs, beaten
  

Cook as per instruction on package. Drain. Let noodles cool down slightly.
Season with Salt, Pepper and a bit of the Patty Spice.
Mix in egg into the noodles until evenly coated. This will be our binder.

Next spilt the noodles in two burger-size bowls. Place a sheet of plastic wrap directly over noodles and stack another bowl on top to flatten noodles. Refrigerate until firm.

Burger Garnish

• Chop Cabbage
• Chopped Spring Onions

Ok now that all the prep is done, lets fry stuff. First up the noodle buns.

Frying the Buns

1. Heat about 1 tablespoon vegetable oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Invert each ramen bowl, gently tapping the bottom of the bowl until ramen loosens, careful to maintain bun shape.
2. Fry each ramen bun, without moving noodles, in hot oil until golden brown, about 3 minutes. Flip each bun and continue frying until crisp, 3 to 5 minutes more. Ramen bun should be crispy on one side and slightly softer on the other. 

Frying the Patty

1. Season your patty just before you start grilling it.
2. Make sure the grill is as hot as possible, add the patties, flipping them several times until almost medium rare.
3. Only after the patties are close to its final serving temperature start brushing it with the Teriyaki sauce. The secret is to layer your sauce so brush it at least three times while it’s still on the grill.
4.  As soon as the patties come off, transfer it onto a bed of chopped spring onions.
5. Brushed it with more sauce, flipped, brushed, and repeated the process a few times until you have a nice, glossy glaze built up over the burger.

Build the Burger

1. Take your noodle bun and top it with some of the chop cabbage.
2. Add your patty on top of the cabbage.
3. Add one more layer of sauce before topping it with more cabbage and closing the burger with the last noodle bun.

Munch away!