“Always bid with somebody else’s finger” is one of the lessons in life dispensed by Schalk Burger. “It sounds disgusting,” laughed big Schalk, “but just look at what happened at the game auction at Alldays. As soon as the farmers saw me start bidding, the prices went ridiculous…”

The finger of a family member doesn’t always work out as Georgian oligarch Bidzina Ivanishvili found out when a relative paid $95m for Picasso’s Dora Maar au Chat, more than $30m above the estimate, in 2006. As Propspect magazine reports it: “At the auction at Sotheby’s in New York, the winning bid had been made by an unknown man in a dark suit who had sat at the back and–apparently unversed in auction etiquette–had simply held his paddle in the air for the duration.”

I’ve recently discovered another qualifier for Schalk’s rule: the finger of the bidder should be less famous than your own.

So asking Adi Badenhorst to negotiate three hectares of Fernão Pires grapes (between 15 and 20 tons) on the Paardeberg was always a big ask as Adi is now so famous on the mountain, his days of anonymous bargains are long gone. The only worse finger would be the elegant digit of Eben Sadie, arguably the most famous winemaker in SA at the minute.

A fascinating DIY tasting is available at Bar Bar Black Sheep in Riebeek Kasteel. Order four white blends from Mynhardt Joubert: Eben’s Palladius, Adi’s Badenhorst Family Vineyards, the white blend of Chris Mullineux and the Roulette Blanc from Lammershoek. If you have no interest in bluffing yourself, ask Mynhardt to serve the wines blind and see if you think the Swartland delivers value for money.

Another of Schalk’s aphorisms is “the price of the farm is not important. What is important, are the terms. If you buy a farm worth R3 million for R4 million and the farmer gives you a 20 year interest free repayment period, you are well ahead.”

When the top of conversation turned to high prices at last year’s Cape Winemakers’ Guild Auction, Schalk started speaking in parables. “It’s easy to sell a ram for R1 million to make headlines if you later refund the purchaser half the price he paid.” Which contradicts the “somebody else’s finger” rule, as both parties want an expensive deal for publicity purposes.

I really must suggest Schalk to Tinus van Niekerk, busy writing his book on the heroes of SA wine. If Oom Schalk Lourens could make Herman Charles Bosman world famous, another Schalk can do the same thing for SA wine.