How Much? R80;
Where? Steenberg Vineyards, Constantia 27 (0)21 713 2211;
Why? If my Fifa-friendly Checkers World Cup of Wine TV quiz show had ever got into production, one of the questions would have been “What do the Franschhoek and Constantia Valleys have in common?” A) hideouts for international criminals (Jurgen Harksen in Constantia, the mafia in Franschhoek); B) more famous for wines made from bought-in grapes (Buitenverwachting Buiten Blanc, Boekenhoutskloof Syrah); C) more cell phones than Telkom land lines. The broad spectrum of flavours of this popular Sauvignon Blanc hail from Darling and Durvanville with a little bit of French oak added as an X-factor.

Lida van Heerden tells the HMS Rattlesnake tale

Although strictly speaking, the oak deployed should have been English, like the trees used to build HMS Rattlesnake, a 16 gun sloop that saw off the Dutch at the battle of Muisenberg in 1795. When that Rattlesnake started to spit, the burghers ran away, leaving their slaves behind to fight the English. HMS Rattlesnake disappeared with all hands shortly after the engagement, although I’m hoping the sailors followed the brave example of the Dutch soldiers and mutinied to settle in the luilekkerland of Somerset West, letting the politicians fight their own battles.

In my opinion, this snake juice has the edge over the Steenberg Sauvignon Blanc 2010 and not just because it’s R10 cheaper. One dimensional drinks are great by the glass, but flavour diversity is necessary for the case to be closed.

Rating? ****

*****: Noah’s Ark
****: HMS Victory
***: QEII
**: SAS Isandlwana, one of four German-built stealth frigates, that disturb the peace and quiet of the Simonstown Sunday waterfront
*: SAS Manthatisi, submarine and pride of the SA Navy, in dry dock for three years after “somebody inserted a plug in the wrong socket” according to Defense Minister Lindiwe Sisulu