The Portuguese economy may have collapsed like a boma in Mozambique during this week’s cyclone Funso, but Lisbon’s marketing mavens are at no loss for inspiration as the billboard for Licor Beirão (below) demonstrates. Now we know where Nando’s get their advertorial inspiration from and if Distell thought they were pretty smart getting Jamie Foxx to pimp for Oude Meester brandy, did they even think of asking Helen Zille?

The liquor from Beira is a sort of Porra Jägermeister, so popular in Namibia. Made by distilling herbs and spices, it was invented by José Carranca Redondo who understood the importance of advertising – his motto was “after laying an egg, the hen clucks”; something Nando’s has taken to heart. Which politician would you use to promote Amarula?

Since Limpopo is the heartland for the maroela tree whose fermented fruit is used to make the drink, there is one obvious candidate. Distell should sign up Limpopo’s most famous son Julius Malema, currently between jobs, immediately. With the Ché Guevara beret, Distell should grab him before Marc Kent signs him up to punt the Swartland Revolution.

Reading Tim Butcher’s magisterial Blood River account of his motorcycle journey down the Congo river, it brings a lump to this old colonialist’s throat to read the letter ManiKongo (King) Affonso wrote to the Portuguese King in 1526: “we need from your Kingdoms no other than priests and people to teach in schools, and no other goods but wine and flour for the holy sacrament.” With Distell’s wine exports to Africa shooting out the lights, at least someone is taking the ManiKongo’s request seriously.