What do African leaders and SA wine writers have in common? None of the entries were good enough to win an award this year. In the case of wine writers, it was the Franschhoek prize which has since been superseded by competitions from Veritas and Standard Bank/Du Toitskloof which has upped the R25K Franschhoek prize pot to R30K. But nowhere near the $5 million not awarded to an African Big Man in the shape of the Mo Ibrahim prize. Are African presidents worth 2000 times a Wine Lizard or a Tim James? You decide. At least with 50 bar, Tim could get some dentures that fit (below) and treat himself to a much needed pedicure.

Tim puts on his happy face at Cathy Marshall’s Pinot tasting last week

“Toxic” Tim, who pens arguably the most boring wine column in SA for the Mail&Guardian now that the Michael Fridjhon World of Wine has crashed out of the recently become excellent High Life SA in-flight magazine of BA, also fancies himself of something of a leader of the disparate pack of SA wine hacks. His advice to the secretary of SBIG last night “Should you not get satisfaction from Times Media and/or should you decide to pursue legal action personally, there would be substantial financial support for you, I can guarantee.” Perhaps he’s spending the Du Toitskloof prize money prematurely.

When it comes to African Big Men, Mo’s criteria is “excellence” which he’s failed to find in four out of seven years. No one seems to know what the Franschhoek criteria were, which was perhaps part of the problem.