Writing a weekly wine column in a national newspaper is no longer regarded as a necessary and sufficient credential for cracking an invitation to an industry gig. Or perhaps its because the column is written in English? Which is fine as it removes any vestiges of good manners that may cause one to pull one’s punches.

The most recent Vinpro-inspired event I was frozen out of was the Harvest Blessing at Groot Constantia on Tuesday at which Big Danie de Wet was awarded the 1659 medal of honour. And well deserved it was too.

Above we see Danie yesterday with Caroline Rillema who has R250,000 worth of Italian wine just unpacked in her Strand Street Cellar. Obviously not part of a barter deal for SA bubbly to be made into fake Moet Champagne. Not a picture you’ll see in Die Burger who gave the Harvest Blessing wall-to-wall coverage.

The other Vinpro gig I was overlooked for was the information day last month which confirmed just how terrible a year 2015 was for WOSA, truly living up to its name Waste of Space Again as the Accolade Wines presentation confirmed.

 

Value and volume down 7% in our largest market, the UK, in spite of numerous visits by Tiny Tim Atkin and the entire supporting cast of Cape Wine 2015. If WOSA was a public company, heads would roll. As it isn’t, its another round of Grand Constance (even better than the cyclists’ favourite Vin de Constance from Klein) and Gouverneurs Reserve at Groot. But quite a low blow for the Accolade lady to accuse SA wine of a shortage of Sex Appeal. I had something to say about this last week when my tiny organ was stirred to applaud

Bottle of the Week: Enaleni Sauvignon Blanc 2015

How much and where? R65; www.enalenivineyards.co.za

Why? “South African wine is not sexy enough” according to Jane Robertson, director of Accolade Wines, an international Bacchanalian behemoth. Robertson was addressing farmers at the VinPro Information Day last week at the Cape Town Convention Centre while the Mavericks skywriting plane circled optimistically overhead. So in addition to growing a topknot and kicking off the Crocs, how can South African wine farmers become more sexy?

Embracing Fairtrade was one tip Robertson recommended and this spicy sauvignon ticks all the boxes. Screw-cap closed to preserve an orchard of zingy green flavours but with fast access when passion ignites. This is Viagra for the vinously bored, Cialis for the ABC (anything but chenin/chardonnay/cabernet) crew with a warm feeling of virtuousness on the aftertaste.

For the grapes were grown on an empowerment farm owned by 23 farmworkers in Stellenbosch. Enaleni means “place of abundance” and starvation chic has never been a sexy style in South Africa. Great with pickled fish and salads or sipped super chilled as an aperitif.

Rating: ***

***** Brad Pitt

**** Idris Elba

*** Colin Farrell

** Justin Bieber

* David Hasselhoff