Charles Back is a gem of a guy. A live wire who just keeps on sparking. The Swartland was one of his wheezes and now he’s come up with an algorithm for making sure that only the beautiful people come to your wine launch. Clash your function with the Amorim Cap Classique Challenge which will siphon off those who like to eat oysters and those who look like them. And with the birthday bash at the Nellie for Winnie Madikizela-Mandela which will remove many black diamonds from the event and those who wear them.

Diamonds are the reason Chas named his new Grenache-driven rosé, Rose Quartz, as he finds quartz crystals an affordable alternative to a girl’s best friend and far more beautiful. Our take-home freebees consisted of a etiolated bottle of rosé and a pouch full of rose quartz. Purchased in the Swartland, for extra fashion points.

The healing powers of quartz are very needed in the bitchy world of wine and they exert an inpentrable forcefield around adherents, holding back the hordes of wine lizards, bald eagles, saggy bottoms and podiatrist problems who pass for wine commentators and opion formers (surely pyschiatric patients?, ed). A tricky thing to do when your launch is in a sushi bar in the corridor of a shopping centre.

But handy for the shopping trolley of greedy freebee fashionistas, though, and kinder to winemakers who have to stuggle with cases of “samples” to the carriages of Platter “tasters” at the annual launch of the guide at the Nellie.

The quartz surely did its trick and the eponymous wine was a revelation. The steely side of Grenache with rapier acidity and a farm worker, in lieu of a dragon, on the coat-of-arms on the label.

With tapas on the menu of so many trendy Cape Town eateries, this rosé will surely rock the restaurant world.