The TV Shows and Wine Pairings Cheat Sheet

Here’s a challenge for Netflix connoisseurs: How do you pair wine with TV? Real “gladiators,” for example, know Scandal’s Olivia Pope is fussy about fine reds, so a rich Cabernet Sauvignon or “Bordeaux that’ll bring tears to your eyes” are natural choices.

Obviously it’s white for the Whites when it comes to Breaking Bad, especially for the sympathetic Skyler fan who knows that only a a colossal cold glass of Chardonnay or Riesling can deliver the memory-erasing pain medication one needs to cope with rampant misogyny and sweaty Albuquerque nights in a house insulated with cash.

I recommend saving your best red wine for the red wedding Game of Thrones fans, preferably something so thick your glasses are permanently bloodstained. Of course you’ll want to homemake some hooch for Orange is the New Black, while The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt can only be accompanied by Pinot Noir for these obvious reasons.

The Good Wife: A fraudulent vintage, because you waited forever for the payoff only to find out the wine wasn’t even in the same room as the barrel.

Keeping Up With the Kardashians: Maria recommends any flavor of Boone’s Farm, citing Urban Dictionary’s definition that “this stuff has started wars and ended civilizations.”

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