It’s reported that the world’s first test-tube hamburger may be less than a year away. The process is simple. You take stem cells from a cow, encourage them to become muscle cells by electrocuting them and bathing them in chemicals, then put them into “bioreactors”, where they “bulk up” on a scaffold before being minced, shaped into burgers, and fed to test subjects – or, if none can be persuaded to sign a release form, revellers at the Glastonbury Festival.

A team from Utrecht University has calculated that with only 10 stem cells, and a fair wind, they could produce 50,000 tons of meat in two months. 50,000 tons! Double-yum with extra cheese! “Munce” – the sinister synthetic mince that was all anybody seemed to eat in Judge Dredd’s Mega-City One – is nearly upon us.