Vodka Soda and Chardonnay will not get you laid.

Recently, we offered you a primer on drinking like a gentleman. Now a New York barman has taken to Serious Eats to demonstrate, in no uncertain terms, how not to drink like one. He recounts watching a man on a first date order a vodka and soda, exactly the kind of drink that tends to earn the disapproval of a dedicated, career bartender. Seemingly unphased by his date’s ball-twisting order of bourbon, neat, the man then proceeded to request a Chardonnay for his second round. Not a specific Chardonnay, mind you, just any Chardonnay. Well, we’re going to assume there wasn’t a second date.