The Pot Luck Club of San Pellegrino hottie Luke Dale Roberts is not a dining destination for claustrophobes or acrophobes, perched as it is like a giant stork’s nest on top of a silo at the New Biscuit Mill in Woodstock (below). After you emerge from the glass lift bolted onto the side of the silo, watch out for the slate ramp which can tips you, ass over tea kettle, into the designer-designer interior.

The bathrooms have one of the best views of the Cape and yesterday the snow on the Stellenbosch mountains gave the Haut Cabrière lunch a fairy tale feel. But then mine host, the dashing Takuan von Arnim, comes from a long line of Teutonic knights and generals who refused to burn down Paris to please the fascist Führer, so reality is expected to be suspended.

The Pot Luck Club is sort of an upside down version of the bunker restaurant on Haut Cabrière (above) and Takuan told us gleefully that both places have the same problem with leaks. The HC venue was destined to be a rubbish dump and the PLC was part of a biscuit factory, so both places are re-imaginings of the city.

The kind of project to be proposed to World Design Capital 2014 with the interesting aside that of the 575 proposals received in the first round in Cape Town, 9 came from porno webbots. What a pity the curators threw them out, but perhaps a couple slipped through, like a well-oiled Chinese pull-through. Talk about a test for machine intelligence! Can your program fool the curators of a design festival? I suspect some already did in Helsinki in 2012.

Wine of the lunch was the 2004 HC Pinot Noir in magnum which was rustic and earthy and a great match with the mushrooms on toast. A totally different animal to the 2009, which is a rhapsody of freshness and strawberries.

That Woolies favourite blush wine HC Chardonnay/Pinot 2013 is an upside down version of the Pierre Jourdan Tranquille NV with the 60:40 red:white mixture neatly reversed. At 11.5% alcohol, the Tranquille is PC Plod friendly. Tranquil indeed and a consummate lunchtime tipple.

Especially if lunch is oysters with Ponzu Dashi jelly and fish tacos that I thought were made of aubergine, as ours was. Thank heavens I’m not a judge at the San Pellegrino restaurant awards and restrict my curatorial urges to wine and design.