Seagull Wine

Originally invented by Eskimos, Seagull Wine will be hard to find in your local liqueur store (for more than obvious reasons). This home brew comes with easy instructions. Chuck a dead seagull in a bottle and leave it in the sun until fermented.

Suzanne Donahue’s tasting notes: “If you opened up a Toyota’s carburetor and drank the leftover fluid from inside, that would be pretty close. It goes down hard and settles in even worse. But I must say it sure gets people inebriated in a hurry. And the next day’s hangover is nothing short of spectacular. You’ll feel like you’ve been repeatedly beaten over the head by a giant…well, seagull.”