3 Of The Worst Crimes Against Pizza

Pizza is an extremely controversial subject on the internet. Everyone wants to protect its honour — but everyone has their own opinion on how to do that. Some people put pineapple on it, or pile lettuce on it and call it a salad; others eat it with a fork and knife or even heat it up in the microwave — while some folks won’t stand for this type of behaviour.

No other food seems to drum up this type of hysteria — though guac comes in close second (if you recall The New York Times‘ pea guacamole controversy of 2015). Think I’m exaggerating? Examine these case files, if you will, of recent alleged crimes against pizza, and take notice of what kind of fury erupts inside of you.

Kiwi Pizza

Fruit on pizza is not new (we’ll get to pineapple pizza in a moment). People even put banana on pizza for some reason. Which is why we weren’t exactly shocked to see kiwi make its way onto a cheesy pie.

A Swedish man named Stellan Johansson took some kiwi to his local pizzeria in Skottorps and asked that they use it to top a pizza for him. He took a photo for his Facebook, then someone promptly stole it, posted it on Reddit and the rest is viral history.

The Reddit poster called the pie “an unholy abomination,” but Johansson, who told TODAY he did it because he had too much of the fruit, really enjoyed it, describing the taste as “sweet and sour.” Many commenters on Reddit actually seemed open to the idea, expressing curiosity over disgust.

“Yeah I’m curious if it would taste as to how I am imagining it, which isn’t too terrible, I suppose,” one wrote.

Rainbow Pizza

The blogger behind Oh Bite It showed the world that pizza was not immune to the rainbow foods trend, swirling every shade of food coloring known to (wo)man to create this “psychedelic, unicorn-ish” pie.

The comments ranged from “crazy cool!” to “toxic chemical $#!+storm.”

Mayo and Pea Pizza

Twitter user @FOX152 unleashed this creation upon us, and the internet’s response was a resounding “no.”

“This is literally the single most inappropriate thing I’ve ever seen on the internet,” wrote one not-at-all hyperbolic commenter.

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