Dear Honorable (Commissar) Andile Mngxitama

Thank you for your letter warning me about expropriation without compensation of my Mont Rochelle Hotel and Mountain Vineyards owned by Virgin Limited Edition (VLI) in Franschoek. That is if the EFF come to power.

I do want to firstly assure you that we are used to expropriation without compensation. It is commonplace in the hotel business and I can’t tell you how many sheets and towels and pictures cutlery and plants go missing from our establishments.

One hotel owner lost a whole chandelier when a guest dismantled and smuggled it out in his brief case; in batches. Our only crime-free establishment is on my island Nakar, where the guests probably think they might be searched on departure.

May I also hasten to add that we do not own that surreally beautiful forty hectares of land in Franschoek. At least not in the same way that we own the business, cars, equipment, vines and buildings. But I give you my word that all these movables are ours and will be disposed of before the expropriation date, using explosives if needs be.