“Ah, Edward VII’s favourite” said Big Ed as I handed him the bottle of Ayala vintage 2001 Champagne and we spent a few minutes listing HM’s many mistresses. I’d also brought along a bottle of non-vintage Brut Nature (zero dosage) which made an excellent aperitif and the presumably richer vintage was designated digestif “although I do have an excellent Poire Williams” said Big Ed, wistfully, as his days of throwing toasts over his left shoulder, Cossack style, are alas past. I’m dying to try Distell’s new Amarula Shibobo, for in Killarney Shibobo is made from brown bread and battery acid by off duty maids who drink it on the bridge over the M1 on the road that leads to the Oppenheimer compound. Big Ed is something in the Rand Club and reports that not only have books been stolen from the library, but somebody also scaled the cannonballs. Is nothing sacred in Johannesburg? Perhaps I should join the Rand Club Youth League to raise standards.

Ayala supporter

Alas the Ayala 2001 was badly corked and not having any Shibobo (neither Distell nor maid’s brew) we were forced back to the Springfield Life from Stone Sauvignon Blanc as accompaniment to Mary’s wonderful homemade ice cream. Little Ed kept us in stitches with reports of John Cleese who is in Natal at the minute filming Spud. John plays the role of English teacher and Little Ed is writing the music.

Sources confirm that the phone lines between Nottingham Road and the Western Cape have been buzzing as bottle stores order in wine for Basil Fawlty. Miles Mossop‘s excellent Saskia white blend being a particular favourite of Basil.

We had more luck with wine at lunch at the Troyeville Hotel. The prawn starter (half an avocado filled with prawns and mayonnaise) is a must and the brace of pork chops at R59 is also recommended. Laurence is on holiday in Sydney on frequent flyer miles, but the food was still excellent. As was the Kleine Zalze 2007 Sauvignon Blanc – a true cultural weapon to take on those judges at the recent Santam Classic Wine Trophy Show who couldn’t find any to throw medals at.

For reds, a #1 Constitution Road Shiraz 2005 from Robertson Winery, all mint and fynbos on the nose and powerful sweet red berry fruit on the palate. The heavyweight bottle would also make a useful cultural weapon to deal with those nightclub bouncers who now run wine competitions in the Cape.