Wine lovers are fortunate that most SA vineyards are situated in the Cape and not Johannesburg or else they’d all have been uprooted by the city council during Weedbuster Week. With Johannesburg’s glorious Jacaranda trees now class three invasive plants (may no longer be planted or sold by nurseries, but may remain in your garden if kept under control) grape vines would have no chance. They are obviously class one invaders and must be removed forthwith as they consume loads of water and proliferate, seemingly without control, like Somali shopkeepers in Hout Bay, Mozambican merchants in Melville and Zimbabwean zimmerframers in Zeekoeivlei.

The upcountry persecution of plants has reached such a stage that two of the city’s greenest thumbs, Wendy and Hylton Appelbaum, have relocated their nursery to their De Morgenzon pied à cap where they can pot and potter in peace.

Wendy plus weeds

The Mediterranean weed was brought to SA by Jan van Riebeeck who recorded in his diary on February 2 1659: “today, praise be to God, wine was made for the first time from Cape grapes…” Which must have raised eyebrows in devout circles, since it was a Sunday and his Excellency should have rather been in church.

Once Johannesburg’s volunteer clearing groups finish with the dreaded Black Wattle and all those Eucalypts, they can make a start on the Cape’s Chenin and Cabernet, replacing European invader stock with indigenous beauties “black and large as gros colman, as sour as vinegar, and possessed of a pip that burns your tongue like a chilli!” identified by Louis Leipoldt.

This indigenous oenophile reported tasting a wine made from wild grapes from the Knysna forest. He described the flavour as “unique, something between that of sorrel and rosemary. It was nicely sparkling, with a ‘wettish’ taste, an equally lovely aftertaste, very acidic, with a low alcohol content – I would say about 11%.” A much better bet than imported Syrah made at moron strength 15% (and up).