Exactly what terms and conditions does First National Blanc have in mind when it asks “how can we help you celebrate our Top Ten Sauvignon Bank winemakers” next Friday at Val de Vie in cool climate Paarl? Let’s hope the bank’s terms and conditions are not reflected in the monochrome panel of judges assembled to choose the selection under a chairman who makes some useful juice in Durbanville who also chairs Veritas. It’s so hard to find good help in the Winelands that those that can do all the jobs.

It’s also interesting how cool climate Paarl is emerging as Ground Zero for Shrek’s favourite tipple, there clearly being no restaurants suitable in Constantia. Four days of judging was held at Nederburg and now a polo estate is chosen for the lunch time awards function. Does holding it on a Friday ensure that upcountry bankster groot koppe can stay the weekend and fit in rounds of golf and chukkas of polo on the shareholders tab? As a long time customer of FNB I’m so pleased to see my bank charges put to good use. No surprises either that no fewer than three of SA’s Top 20 richest plutocrats are former FNB/RMB executives. Way to go Laurie, Paul and GT! Can there be any doubt for future EFF voters that capitalism is the way forward?