Are WOSA all on holiday? You’d think so after reading the Financial Times bombshell that South Africa winemakers face poor harvest. They don’t face it dear, its over. Even Franschhoek is having an oesfees this weekend with the locals playing their guitars with their spoons.

Talk about managing media exposure, or not. Comment is quoted from London cyclist Chas Harman who used to be the queen’s banker and is thus uniquely qualified to comment on winelands weather.

Charles Harman, co-owner of Klein Constantia, home to the iconic Vin de Constance, says: “The whole wine industry across the world suffers from weather volatility.”

Traditional winemaking areas have seen increasing bouts of hot and dry weather, while that has helped wine production in countries like the UK. Warmer weather in the UK would help but in southern Europe it is definitely an issue,” says Mr Harman.

With wine grapes particularly dependent on stable conditions, especially in the run-up to harvest time, “everybody suffers from unstable weather conditions”, he adds.

Nice plug for Vin de Constance, Chas! But the most bizarre feature of a hopeless story is Rosa Kruger, known among the wine cognoscenti as the “éminence grise of Cape vines”, says: “The yields are down at least 20 per cent in most areas of the wine-producing western cape, but 60 per cent down in dryland areas.”

What does it mean, eminence grise of Cape vines? Rising temperatures are clearly addling the brains of London hacks. No wonder the paper is pink of hue.